I was once asked on an IG Live interview about how parenting was going during a recent season of restrictions and lockdowns due to the covid-19 pandemic.
I shared Four Filters that I have had to mentally put in place between my children’s behaviour at times (haha) and my response (haha).
These filters are not just for extreme lockdown scenarios. I think they are filters that are helpful in all seasons of parenting and for other types of relationships.
“I am tired and so are they.”
Crisis, change and uncertainty is exhausting! And our precious kids feel it also. We do and say strange things (smile) when we are tired and need extra grace.
“This behaviour is sending me a deeper message.”
When patience is low, it’s easy to react to behaviour. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What’s your child’s behaviour really showing you? Perhaps they are scared, worried, confused, bored, disappointed or need some control and autonomy.
“Will this really matter next week?”
I’ve certainly reacted to small things in big ways when I’ve been under stress. But the reality is, when I choose to take a deep breath and ask myself this question, it gives me time to calm down and put things back into perspective. Especially when Mr. 5 drops his snack all over the rug once again.
“Choose heart connection over correction.”
Yes, there’s a time and place for correcting, teaching and consequences. But in all honesty, I’m caring more about keeping our hearts connected during uncertain times. I’ve had to choose not to address as many things as I normally would and instead, have just given a lot more hugs, kisses and attention (and ice cream always helps!).